What is the greatest mystery of the universe? The answer is brick. Or is it blanket? I forget which one.

“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of th…”

“Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” …”

“I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday…”

“In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though …”