Wheelchairs won’t kill you. And cigarettes won’t paralyze you. Stick a wheelchair in your mouth and smoke it.

“I like great music, but who doesn’t? Oh yeah, deaf people.”

“I am the bow of love. I’m also the bow of hate. Same spelling, different pronun…”

“When I describe love to an emotional Helen Keller, I usually say it has four le…”

“It’s just a dream, I told myself. I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.”