When certain people can’t figure out why a certain place produces a certain thing, they tend to say, “There must be something in the water.” And I always think, “Yeah, there is something in the water. They’re called fish. They grow on land, you moron.

“I just made ice cream. Accidentally. I made regular cream, and then winter kick…”

“I would let you ride shotgun, but first I’ll need to reload.”

“Here you’ll find everything you don’t need—and much less!”

“I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m…”