When I didn’t know him I punched him in the face. The best part about him is his nose.

“The time is now 3:34. Damn! I’m late for 3:33.”

“By a simple show of hands, who here is wearing gloves?”

“I park my car in the parking spot right next to the parking spot my bed is in, …”

“Age is just a number. So is my area code.
”