When I go to the bar, I never drink much. And to do that I avoid conversations, as silence reduces saliva and swallowing, which is drinking.

“I saw my hero. He was standing at the urinal next to mine. I didn’t know what t…”

“The six squares of our love didn’t add up to a cube. Still, I took the oddly-sh…”

“My neck size is about the size of both of my girlfriend’s clenched hands.”

“I put the “cat” in category. And not only do I put it there, but I pet it too.”