When I have to be in two places at once, my mind at once decides twice which one place to be in.

“Is it any wonder that war is senseless? It’s started by politicians. As a class…”

“My bed is better than all the rest. That’s why I just stand there staring at it…”

“Me and Ruth minus Ruth leaves me Ruthless—and makes me ruthless.”

“Attorney ethics is a contradiction in terms, and its nonexistence is well docum…”