When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can get: a British accent.

“Empty packets of hot sauce remind me of the love I used to have for her. Now al…”

“The kitten I got is black and white and has long hair. Really long hair (think …”

“Growing up, I used to use and apple instead of a baseball. It was just more fun…”

“I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.
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