When I was a concierge, I didn’t want a guest’s gratitude. I wanted gratuity. A thank you and a warm smile are always made warmer by a transfer of money.

“My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank …”

“I plugged the hole up with my thumb, so at least I wouldn’t sink. But it was re…”

“My baseball team is called the I Ams. Just me and my clones on the roster. We’r…”

“The speaker was so boring that he put me to sleep. But he didn’t stop talking, …”