When someone insults me, I simply shut down. Then I open back up at 9 am the next morning.

“I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size," and I tho…”

“Since the day I was born, I’ve spent my time being a human being, and I regard …”

“A brick could be used as the lead singer of a band called “The More Interesting…”

“Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate while wearing boxing gloves? It g…”