When tragedy befalls me and someone says, "Better you than me," I always reply, "Yes, I am better than you.

“Coupons are easy to counterfeit, so why not make a bunch of one dollar off coup…”

“Love doesn’t spend its time watering your plants. But it might bubblegum swank …”

“The fog scattered the light and spread it thick like mayonnaise. It was late an…”

“If counting is thinking, then the longest I’ve ever thought about any one subje…”