When you said you were ugly it was the most untrue thing you’ve ever said. Well, it’s true!

“My leadership style can be summed up in one word: Follower.”

“I didn’t list listening as one of my skills, probably because I didn’t hear wha…”

“I dated an IRS agent, and I cheated on her. Not with a woman, but on my taxes.”

“I asked for her hand in marriage, but instead got the whole body. Love is full …”