With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress.

“It was a dumb mistake, sleeping with her, and I learned from the experience. St…”

“To know is good, but to know how to use that knowledge is better. And to acknow…”

“Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a fe…”

“I had to stop selling stick-figure portraits of women at the beach, after too m…”