Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with me for free.

“On the frozen tundra, I milked a cow and pumped out ice cream. Strangely, it ha…”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d gue…”

“A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I beli…”

“I had a few good professors in my painting and drawing classes, but all my grap…”