You know, I would date if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. But most are such a waste of time that I’d rather sit at home and watch reruns of Hee Haw.

“Where’d you learn to drive? (Steele)Richard Petty’s School of Driving. Had a gr…”

“That’s– (Guard)Wait. Out. Side. (Joe)(Guard leaves)Thanks. Can’t wait for the w…”

“Man, he deserves a hero cookie. (Selena)”

“Sandman had two personalities. One could turn a female into his angel for the n…”