You may have to dish out more love than me, but I have more love to dish out. Also, it’s your turn to wash dishes.

“You don’t have to visit an asylum to see insanity. All you have to do is visit …”

“It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, which make sense because …”

“Our romance lasted a few months. I was so deflated the day I lost my air pump a…”

“One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you…”