Your impression of me is different than my impression of me. But that’s OK, because your impression is impressionistic, like a Monet painting, while mine is realistic, like a Rembrandt.

“A unicorn breathes rainbows like a dragon breathes fire. My coffee breathes Jar…”

“All I took on my trip were my ideas. So, I guess I’m not a light packer.”

“I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orang…”

“We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, beca…”