... in practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women's experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.
Judith Lewis HermanTag: power inequality law rape crime feminist sexism dominance criminal male-thinking abuse-of-power rape-survivor raped patriarchy rape-culture sexual-assault sexual-violence coercion feminist-theory abused-women coercive-acts male-dominance male-domination rape-convictions violation
The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.
Judith Lewis HermanTag: safety refuge violence victim protection promises survivor abuse perpetrator domestic-violence victimization abused-women battered-women batterers battering self-protection
I wondered about her chicken-and-egg relationship with Dad. Which came first? Her helplessness or his controlling?
Justina ChenTag: abuse abused-women
The whole thing becomes like this evil enchantment from a fairy tale, but you're made to believe the spell can never be broken.
Jess C. ScottTag: murder evil revenge anger rape crime fairy-tale fury crime-fiction wrath abuse rape-culture seven-deadly-sins abused-women abused vigilante
Terri had already gotten her panties into a bunch just from one little phone call, so he knew coming at her too much too fast would be more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t exactly beat her into submission, not right away anyway. Although he did enjoy seeing her get all riled up.
Nothing tugged at a man’s heartstrings like a pair of mascara smeared eyes.
Randy from Spring Cleaning-- Coming Summer 2012
Tag: marriage dark husband stalker women-s-fiction abused-women
People only picked the pretty, sweet-smelling flowers. The ones with thorns were left alone.
Nenia CampbellTag: beauty sad purity-myth abused-women
A sociopath is one who sees others as impersonal objects to be manipulated to fulfill their own narcissistic needs without any regard for the hurtful consequences of their selfish actions.
R. Alan WoodsTag: narcissism victims-of-narcissists abused-women r-alan-woods sociopaths
Underlying the attack on psychotherapy, I believe, is a recognition of the potential power of any relationship of witnessing. The consulting room is a privileged space dedicated to memory. Within that space, survivors gain the freedom to know and tell their stories. Even the most private and confidential disclosure of past abuses increases the likelihood of eventual public disclosure. And public disclosure is something that perpetrators are determined to prevent. As in the case of more overtly political crimes, perpetrators will fight tenaciously to ensure that their abuses remain unseen, unacknowledged, and consigned to oblivion.
The dialectic of trauma is playing itself out once again. It is worth remembering that this is not the first time in history that those who have listened closely to trauma survivors have been subject to challenge. Nor will it be the last. In the past few years, many clinicians have had to learn to deal with the same tactics of harassment and intimidation that grassroots advocates for women, children and other oppressed groups have long endured. We, the bystanders, have had to look within ourselves to find some small portion of the courage that victims of violence must muster every day.
Some attacks have been downright silly; many have been quite ugly. Though frightening, these attacks are an implicit tribute to the power of the healing relationship. They remind us that creating a protected space where survivors can speak their truth is an act of liberation. They remind us that bearing witness, even within the confines of that sanctuary, is an act of solidarity. They remind us also that moral neutrality in the conflict between victim and perpetrator is not an option. Like all other bystanders, therapists are sometimes forced to take sides. Those who stand with the victim will inevitably have to face the perpetrator's unmasked fury. For many of us, there can be no greater honor. p.246 - 247
Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. February, 1997
Tag: fear power courage bravery honor healing victim survivors recovery psychotherapy therapy abuse-of-power victims survivor abuse survivorship attacks victimization abused-women victim-blaming trauma-survivors oppressed false-memory
Finding Grant however and living happily ever after was an illusion, a dream. Things like that didn’t happen to women like them. Things like that didn’t happen in real life. Real life was shacking up with a man you didn’t love just to have the security of a roof over your head.
Elle Ison
Tag: abused-women paranormal-romance-series animal-shifters
I've always considered myself a good person. I've never done anything to purposely hurt anyone. I was in shock that this happened to me, and because it did, I turned into this vengeful person. I've never truly hated anyone, but I was glad when I saw him lying there on the floor.
Maya BanksTag: anger rape vengeance abuse abused-women
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