Oh, I don’t mean to infer that you’re not a great guy. I’m sure you’re the exception to the rule.

Jaye Frances

Tag: satire parody adult ebooks novella adult-fiction jaye-frances adult-ebooks adult-humor all-that-glitters kindle-ebooks the-cruise

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I was momentarily stunned by his odd announcement and told him as much. "Let’s just talk about the fact that you composed a sonnet to my vagina, shall we? You are sending off some major stalker vibes, which is odd because you’re gay. You are gay, right?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and waved his hand in the direction of his 'muse' as he stated, "I don't want any part of that thing. I just want to honor it for being the only known thing in existence to be touched by the dick of a god.

M.C. Lavocat

Tag: romance funny quote humor-quotes adult-humor

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Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!

When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.

M.C. Lavocat

Tag: quotes humorous-quotes romance-funny funny-quotes adult-humor

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For a split second, I wondered if he were some type of sexy sorcerer, who was able to remove my clothing by the force of his will alone. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on the buttons of his shirt, willing them to pop off.

It didn’t work. Then again, it was pretty hard to focus while he was touching me, so maybe under different circumstances, I too could be a sexy sorcerer. Watch out world.

M.C. Lavocat

Tag: romantic-comedy funny-quotes witty-quotes adult-humor

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The only options I have are a four fingered shuffle and an aging vibrator whose batteries, the last time I looked, were leaking a sticky liquid.
I long to do the same.”
Time Was by Paul Adams

Paul Adams

Tag: romantic-comedy adult-humor

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When I make love to you, Lanie, I want you to feel every inch of me buried deep inside of you, loving you, worshiping your body...

Flora Roberts

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I'm going to make love to you, Lanie. I'm not your first, but I will be the last.

Flora Roberts

Tag: humor romantic-comedy erotica jasa erotica-romance adult-fiction adult-humor flora-roberts adult-romance adult-contemporary just-a-step-away

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