The Devil answer'd: bray a fool in a morter with wheat, yet shall not his folly be beaten out of him; if Jesus Christ is the greatest man, you ought to love him in the greatest degree; now hear how he has given his sanction to the law of ten commandments: did he not mock at the sabbath, and so mock the sabbaths God? murder those who were murder'd because of him? turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery? steal the labor of others to support him? bear false witness when he omitted making a defense before Pilate? covet when he pray'd for his disciples, and when he bid them shake off the dust of their feet against such as refused to lodge them? I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules.
William BlakeTag: religion heresy amusing iconoclasm intuitive-ethics sophistry
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You didn't kill him. He would have killed you, but you didn't kill him."
"So? He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have time to sleep.
Tag: philosophy amusing alanna tamora-pierce
Careful with the accusations of insanity, oh my lady whose home is a tower with windows of brick, all for the sake of some skinny-ankled, laugh-prone boy of a khan.
Shannon HaleThere are many premium writers, yes? Tolstoy, yes? He wrote War, and also Peace, which are both premium books.
Jonathan Safran FoerWhen a new baby is expected mother has 9 months to prepare the family and the kitchen for her departure!
Nursing Mothers' Association of AustraliaTag: family amusing 1970s baby
Assuming mother's absence is only for a short time, don't be too concerned if you find yourself being more relaxed than she is over what the children eat. It is far better to maintain harmony and let mother cope with the problem later. You can use the excuse "You are only having this because Mummy's in hospital!".
Nursing Mothers' Association of AustraliaTag: cooking relationship amusing fatherhood
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Erma BombeckIssib wasn't thrilled to see him. I'm busy and don't need interruptions."
"This is the household library," said Nafai. "This is where we always come to do research."
"See? You're interrupting already."
"Look, I didn't say anything, I just came in here, and you started picking at me the second I walked in the door."
"I was hoping you'd walk back out."
"I can't. Mother sent me here." Nafai walked over behind Issib, who was floating comfortably in the air in front of his computer display. It was layered thirty pages deep, but each page had only a few words on it, so he could see almost everything at once. Like a game of solitaire, in which Issib was simply moving fragments from place to place.
The fragments were all words in weird languages. The ones Nafai recognized were very old.
"What language is that?" Nafai asked pointing, to one.
Issib signed. "I'm so glad you're not interrupting me."
"What is it, some ancient form of Vijati?"
"Very good. It's Slucajan, which came from Obilazati, the original form of Vijati. It's dead now."
"I read Vijati, you know."
"I don't."
"Oh, so you're specializing in ancient, obscure languages that nobody speaks anymore, including you?"
"I'm not learning these languages, I'm researching lost words."
"If the whole language is dead, then all the words are lost."
"Words that used to have meanings, but that died out or survived only in idiomatic expressions. Like 'dancing bear.' What's a bear, do you know?"
"I don't know. I always thought it was some kind of graceful bird."
"Wrong. It's an ancient mammal. Known only on Earth, I think, and not brought here. Or it died out soon. It was bigger than a man, very powerful. A predator."
"And it danced?"
"The expression used to mean something absurdly clumsy. Like a dog walking on its hind legs."
"And now it means the opposite. That's weird. How could it change?"
"Because there aren't any bears. THe meaning used to be obvious, because everybody knew a bear and how clumsy it would look, dancing. But when the bears were gone, the meaning could go anywhere. Now we use it for a person who's extremely deft in getting out of an embarrassing social situation. It's the only case that we use the word bear anymore. And you see a lot of people misspelling it, too."
"Great stuff. You doing a linguistics project?"
"No."
"What's this for, then?"
"Me."
"Just collection old idioms?"
"Lost words."
"Like bear? The word isn't lost, Issya. It's the bears that are gone."
"Very good, Nyef. You get full credit for the assignment. Go away now.
the kind of person took milk in his tea on one day and decided against it on the next.
Anne EnrightTag: amusing character-description irish-aphorism
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.
Douglas AdamsTag: humour service effect confusion zaphod-beeblebrox amusing waiter
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