Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy.
Rick RiordanTag: humor kane-chronicles carter-kane
I wanted to keep things as normal as possible for the trainees, so I led my usual morning class. I called it Magic Problem-Solving 101. The trainees called it Whatever Works.
Rick RiordanTag: carter-kane
The world may need fixing, but it's worth preserving.
Rick RiordanTag: carter-kane
WARNING:
The following is a transcript of a digital recording. In certain places, the audio quality was poor, so some words and phrases represent the author's best guesses. Where possible, illustrations of important symbols mentioned in the recording have been added. Background noises such as scuffling, hitting, and cursing by the two speakers have not been transcribed The author makes no claims for the authenticity of the recording. It seems impossible that the two young narrators are telling the truth, but you, the reader, must decide for yourself.
Tag: red-pyramid sadie-kane carter-kane
Throwing down your staff may sound like a sign of surrender, but in Egyptian magic, it's bad news. It usually means, 'Hey, I'm going to summon a big nasty thing to kill you while I stand safely inside my circle and laugh'.
Rick RiordanTag: carter-kane throne-of-fire
It was guarded by a few demons, but most of Set's forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall back down and hit them, but no one says demons are too bright)
Rick RiordanTag: humor set carter-kane
Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit.
Rick RiordanTag: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
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If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.
I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.
Tag: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
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Yes, an actual full-sized camel. If you find that confusing, just think how the criosphinx must have felt.
Where did the camel come from, you ask? I may have mentioned Walt’s collection of amulets. Two of them summoned disgusting camels. I’d
met them before, so I was less than excited when a ton of dromedary flesh flew across my line of sight, plowed into the sphinx, and collapsed on top
of it. The sphinx growled in outrage as it tried to free itself. The camel grunted and farted.
“Hindenburg,” I said. Only one camel could possibly fart that badly. “Walt, why in the world—?”
“Sorry!” he yelled. “Wrong amulet!”
The technique worked, at any rate. The camel wasn’t much of a fighter, but it was quite heavy and clumsy. The criosphinx snarled and clawed
at the floor, trying unsuccessfully to push the camel off; but Hindenburg just splayed his legs, made alarmed honking sounds, and let loose gas.
I moved to Walt’s side and tried to get my bearings.
Tag: sun humour funny destruction survive snake earthquakes funny-and-random riots riordan tornado sadie-kane tsunamis ra floods carter-kane serpent rebellious giant-snake
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For an absurd moment, I wondered if Ammit devoured the hearts of wicked cows, and if he liked the beefy taste.
- Carter Kane
Tag: wicked cows carter-kane ammit
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