Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.
I'd finally found something Eric did poorly.

Charlaine Harris

Tag: humor vampires cleaning



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Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, “Respect me; I’m a respectable grown-up!" and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.

Wendy Wasserstein

Tag: life housekeeping aging cleaning



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Those single-track military minds never think to ask their cleaning staff for help in giant lethal marauding creature matters.

Robin McKinley

Tag: humor heroes destruction cleaning cleaning-lady



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Excuse the mess, but we live here.

Roseanne Barr

Tag: life housekeeping cleaning mess messes



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normal person's weekly chore list:
1. clean kitchen.
2. clean bathroom.
3. clean entire rest of domicile.
cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list:
1. don't get peanut butter on sheets.

Dave Barry

Tag: humor chores cleaning slobs



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The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live...

David Sedaris

Tag: humor funny joke cleaning



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As I would soon learn myself, cleaning up what a parent leaves behind stirs up dust, both literal and metaphorical. It dredges up memories. You feel like you’re a kid again, poking around in your parents’ closet, only this time there’s no chance of getting in trouble, so you don’t have to be so sure that everything gets put back exactly where it was before you did your poking around. Still, you hope to find something, or maybe you fear finding something, that will completely change your conception of the parent you thought you knew.

Roz Chast

Tag: perception parents death mourning cleaning belongings



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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?

Erma Bombeck

Tag: humour housework cleaning



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...I have to go home and get a few things done. If I don’t get out the Pledge soon, the dust bunnies are going to be leaving tracks on my furniture...

Carla Foft

Tag: work humour cleaning



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The house was clean, scrubbed and immaculate, curtains washed, windows polished, but all as a man does it - the ironed curtains did not hang quite straight and there were streaks on the windows and a square showed on the table when a book was moved.

John Steinbeck

Tag: men house cleaning



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