I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Ellen DeGeneres

Tag: humor animals killing animal-protection deer hunting taxidermy



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I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.

David Sedaris

Tag: animals possessions deer



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Sure, some find gunning down unsuspecting, innocent animals to be a real hoot. I mean, for Christ sake, they mantle the decapitated, formaldehyde-stuffed heads on the wall. Then, of course, there are the people who enjoy putting sunglasses or hats on it, even putting a blowout in its mouth as if it were an avid party animal. If it had any hands, there would surely be a plastic cup full of cheap beer in it, as well. We can’t forget that it would be named some horrendous name, such as Bill or Frank, something so plain, ordinary, and down-right ridiculous that makes me want to bitch-slap the perpetrators.

Chase Brooks

Tag: animal-rights deer hunting redneck



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It's very ugly' I said generously. 'But it looks as though it would laugh at snow. And, if you hit a deer it would hiccup, and keep going.

Maggie Stiefvater

Tag: snow deer car



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Stupid deer," I said, embarrassed about being startled. "We need a ladder."

"I think they're easier to shoot with a rifle."

"I'm not talking about the deer," I said, hitting Milo on the back of his shoulder. "We need a ladder to look over the wall."

"Or a catapult," Milo said seriously.

Obert Skye

Tag: humorous deer shooting casual



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A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear.

Alan Davies

Tag: humor deer disney dinosaur



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Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate.

Maggie Stiefvater

Tag: humor marriage funny deer



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The master and mistress of the house and the rest of the Blood -even the Crux himself- brought our food, poured the wine, did our bidding. The centerpiece was a roasted stag. crowned with gilded antlers and stuffed with songbirds; they had hunted well. We were forbidden to kill the deer that fattened on our coleworts and stole our grain, and the venison tasted all the better for the salt of revenge.

Sarah Micklem

Tag: revenge deer feast peasants venison



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It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real talent

Josh Stern

Tag: humor talent absurd witty deer ships hobby thing headlights



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Marena," he said with an effort, "Marena...." He did not recognize her. His voice failed.

Felix Salten

Tag: death deer tragic



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