Live and live.

Claire Chilton

Tag: claire-chilton-quotes funny-quote typo-quotes



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To cut a long story short, I'm a writer.

Carla H. Krueger

Tag: funny-quote silly-writer to-cut-a-long-story-short writer-writing



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Its a flash drive." When his only answer was a blank stare, I continued. "It holds information from a computer." He took the drive from me giving it a hard shake. When nothing came out, he proceded to tap it against the edge of the windowsill.
"How do we get the information out?" - Kale and Deznee - Touch

Jus Accardo

Tag: humor funny-quote



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Who peed in your cheerios?

Michelle Hodkin

Tag: funny-quote



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We found Trent and pulled him off the leggy girl. “Trent, it’s time to get home before your parents realize we snuck out.” I said.
“What?” he asked confusedly.
“Plus the bouncer found out we were sixteen and he does not look happy.” Logan added.
The girl froze, “You’re sixteen? What the hell. You little perv, you’re going to pay for this.”
Trent sputtered, “What? No.”
Logan looked at her all doe eyed innocence and said “Sorry Ma’am, we have to get home now because it’s past our curfew.”
Trent stood open mouthed in shock but his eyes were shooting murderous rays.
So many death glares, so little time.

Amanda Kelly

Tag: hilarious prank funny-quote



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Me: "it does not taste like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes which were then served to you accompanied by several luminous balls of fermented, bubbly plasma while actual and literal flower petals floated down all around you canal-siide dinner table."
Gus: "Nicely phrased"
Gus's father: Our children are weird."
My dad: "Nicely phrased

John Green

Tag: funny-quote



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He was all over me like brown rice!

L'Poni Baldwin

Tag: humor stereotypes funny-quote gay-dragons



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