I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur
Janet EvanovichTag: humor grandma-mazur
Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?"
It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army."
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant."
My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.
My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.
That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life."
I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile.
Tag: humor sobriquet ranger grandma-mazur
Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!
Janet EvanovichTag: grandma-mazur
If I let her in I'm doomed. It's like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you've invite them in, that's it, you're good as dead!
Janet EvanovichTag: comedy stephanie-plum grandma-mazur
The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.
Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.
Tag: comedy grandma-mazur
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said:
"She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
Tag: humorous grandma-mazur
That shooting gave me an appetite," she said. "Somebody pass
me the potatoes."
Grandma Mazur
Tag: grandma-mazur
You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother.
“I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger.”
“I wouldn't go either,” Grandma Mazur said, “but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.”
“She's your responsibility,” my mother said to me. “She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable.
Tag: humor stephanie-plum grandma-mazur good-laugh stephanie-s-mom sticking-fingers-in-eyes
Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.
Janet EvanovichTag: grandma-mazur
Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.
Janet EvanovichTag: grandma-mazur
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