Maybe you've never fallen into a frozen stream. Here's what happens.
1. It is cold. So cold that the Department of Temperature Acknowledgment and Regulation in you brain gets the readings and says, "I can't deal with this. I'm out of here." It puts up the OUT TO LUNCH sign and passes all responsibility to the...
2. Department of Pain and the Processing Thereof, which gets all this gobbledygook from the temperature department that it can't understand. "This is so not our job," it says. So it just starts hitting random buttons, filling you with strange and unpleasant sensations, and calls the...
3. Office of Confusion and Panic, where there is always someone ready to hop on the phone the moment it rings. This office is at least willing to take some action. The Office of Confusion and Panic loves hitting buttons.
Tag: maureen-johnson let-it-snow the-jubilee-express
Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note - kind of the sound I imagine a mermaid might make if you punched her in the face.
Maureen JohnsonTag: maureen-johnson let-it-snow the-jubilee-express
There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen.
Maureen JohnsonTag: let-it-snow
Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table.
Maureen JohnsonTag: let-it-snow
I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours. In my bedroom.
Maureen JohnsonTag: let-it-snow
Every girl on the planet was familiar to one-last-time e-mail checks.
Lauren MyracleTag: let-it-snow
If by that you mean that I dislike celebrity magazines, prefer food to anorexia, refuse to watch TV shows about models, and hate the color pink, then yes. I am proud to be not really a girl.
John GreenTag: john-green let-it-snow a-cheertastic-christmas-miracle
There it was again, the prickling sense of standing on a precipice.
Lauren MyracleTag: winter teen let-it-snow
...but somehow when it's real, when it's your life... that person can feel even farther off and more unobtainable than an actual celebrity. Proximity doesn't breed familiarity
Maureen JohnsonTag: life maureen-johnson let-it-snow proximity
But what could I lose by continuing that had not already been lost?
John GreenTag: losing lose john-green let-it-snow
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