Women are odd. I really mean that. A woman doesn't know the effect she has on a man. Any woman affects every man with instant global tonnage every single time. But women all go about teaching each other it isn't true. God knows why. They reach for doubt, where we blokes go for hope. This accounts for much of their behavior.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: women-and-men lovejoy



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The risks in antiques fraud are relative. Other criminals risk the absolute. You've never heard of a fraudster involved in a shoot-out, of the "Come and get me, copper!" sort. Or of some con artist needing helicopter gunships to bring him. No, we subtle-mongers do it with the smile, the promise, the hint. And we have one great ally: greed. And make no mistake. Greed is everywhere, like weather.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: fraud greed antiques lovejoy



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Fraud is the daughter of greed.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: fraud greed antiques lovejoy



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America's phones are bliss. Their habit of actually working is very disconcerting: Put in a coin, and speak to whoever answers. I truly hope it catches on everywhere.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: lovejoy phones



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The Metropolitan Museum of Art claims to be the largest in the western hemisphere. It's right, but I'm not too sure about the arts bit. Don't misunderstand me. It's got tons of genuine art. It's also got tons of stuff that is hard to classify. I can't come to grips with a massive cube with a grandiose title. I allow that it's art, but not my sort. I need the big stone block to tell me something about the bloke whose name's on the caption, and it doesn't. That off my chest, I admit that any place with 3.3 million works of art truly is a wonder.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: antiques lovejoy



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The Theory of Sexual Understanding is mine. I created it. It works between a man and a woman. It's this: Everything's up to her.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: sexual antiques lovejoy



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That day, I started taking an interest in the bar's television. We always kept it on. As the hours slid by in a cacophony of talk I kept watch, throwing in the occasional comment about politicians, bankers, show biz personalities as they appeared on screen. I wasn't being nosy, you understand. Just human.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: television lovejoy talk-shows



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Tag: antiques lovejoy



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Remember preconceptions? Even though I'd landed hoping simply to somehow scrape the transatlantic fare home, I'd been an arrogant swine, imbued with that Old World toffee-nosed attitude: The United States of America's got no culture, not deep down.

Jonathan Gash

Tag: preconceptions antiques lovejoy



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When two people love each other, they do not comply and does not dominate, only complement each other.

Jacqueline Kelly

Tag: lovejoy



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