Hey, bodyguard. You better get down to the gymnasium. This jumbo pixie guy is killing your sister." "Really?" said Butler, unconvinced. "Really. Juliet just does not seem to be herself. She can't put two moves together. It's pathetic, really. Everybody is betting against her." "I see," said Butler, straightening. Mulch held the door. "It's going to make things really interesting when you show up to help." Butler grinned. "I'm not coming to help. I just want to be there when she stops faking." "Ah," said Mulch, comprehension dawning on his face. "So I should switch my bet to Juliet?" "You certainly should" said Butler.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: fighting betting juliet butler atlantis-complex faking mulch

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Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty"

"Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: tasty foaly mulch

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I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile."
"...Where's all the loot?"
"That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart."
Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four.
"You were here to rob me!"
"No, I wasn't. How dare you?!

Eoin Colfer

Tag: humor artemis-fowl mulch theif

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You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”

Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: love mulch artemis-fowl-humor

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