Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.
Molly HarperTag: funny vampire jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.
Molly HarperTag: unicorns jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.
Molly HarperTag: funny ocd jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I always hoped for this spark of chemistry and compatibility, a flash of clarity to let me know that this was the guy, this was the time, so I should leg go and enjoy myself. But it never came. And by no small coincidence, neither did I.
Molly HarperTag: funny chemistry coming jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I think it would be best if you came down from there before I explained that."
"I think I'll stay right where I am, thank you," I said. "And you, you stay where you are, or I'll...I don't know what I'll do, but it will really hurt. You, I mean.
Tag: pain threats gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I offered you a choice, and you took it."
I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber?
Tag: funny choices gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper gonorrhea nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked.
Molly HarperTag: funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Wait, is this a nice-ish way of telling me we had sex and I was lousy? That's how you can tell I'm inexperienced? Because, if so, that's just rude. And what were you doing at Shenanigans? And how did you find me on the road?"
Gabriel looked wounded. "To answer your questions in order: The only body fluid I exchanged with you is blood--"
"That's very comforting, thank you.
Tag: questions funny gabriel jane-jameson molly-harper nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
Grandma Ruthie and her sister Jettie hadn't spoken a civil word in about fifteen years. Their last exchange was Ruthie's leaning over Jettie's coffin and whispering, "If you'd married and had children, there would be more people at your funeral." Of course, at the reading of Aunt Jettie's will, Grandma Ruthie was handed an enveloped containing a carefully folded high-resolution picture of a baboon's butt. That pretty much summed up their relationship.
Molly HarperTag: baboon jane-jameson molly-harper aunt-jettie nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs grandma-ruthie
Up until two years ago, I was one of the top-selling real estate agents in the tricounty area. I went to a convention in Boca Raton. I had one too many margaritas, met a tall, pale, and handsome man in the bar, and woke up a vampire."
"I was mistaken for a deer and got shot," I offered."
"Oh.
Tag: vampire jane-jameson molly-harper missy nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs
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