Germs contagious, contagious alert!
But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!
Tag: humor twilight nightlight
I want to leave all my friends and the sunlight for a small, rainy town.
The Harvard LampoonTag: paranormal-romance urban-fantasy nightlight harvard-lampoon twilight-parody
Germs contagious, Contagious alert!
But Edwart and Purell are stronger than dirt!
Tag: edwart nightlight the-harvard-lampoon
As soon as we were inside, Edwart's family rushed to greet me. What seemed like thirty people circled me, chattering away.
"Oh my god, you smell good."
"Good smell, good smell."
"(she really does smell good.)"
"do you mind if I put my nose right on you? Right on your arm?"
"More smelly smelly please."
"If I could destroy every part of my brain except the part that smelled your smell, I would do it. I would do it in a second."
"Let's go, Belle," Edwart whispered and grabbed my hand. We pushed through the ravenous vampires nad out the front door.
"So that went well!" I said outside in the U-HAUL. I sniffed my hair. I did smell good.
"No, no, that wasn't my house," Edwart said, starting the truck. "I don't even know those people! Sometimes I get addresses confused.
Tag: nightlight belle-goose edwart-mullen
I balked. Another vampire? I guess it made sense; the states of the Pacific Northwest were known for their lenient monster laws.
The Harvard LampoonTag: nightlight
Then, suddenly, I remembered the accident, and Edwart's snow-proof body, and his eyes that changed from I-don't-remember to green, and I knew.
The Harvard LampoonTag: nightlight
So all this time you thought I was a vampire?' Edwart whispered furiously, pulling me a few inches to the left.
'Sure,' I said, 'you know, the lion falls for the lamb...'
'What?'
'Sorry. It's easier for me if I explain things in animal terms.
Tag: nightlight
I noticed there was garlic above the doorframe. Edwart held a stake in one hand and a 'Team Jacob' shirt in the other.
The Harvard LampoonTag: nightlight
Listen' he whispered ferociously, like a ferocious breeze or a very gentle hurricane.
The Harvard LampoonTag: nightlight
It suddenly occurred to me that, after all that frolicking in the meadows, he hadn't kissed me. Was it because of the mold that grew in my sinuses?
The Harvard LampoonTag: nightlight
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