In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.
Judith Lewis HermanTag: lying denial secrecy crazy credibility survivors insane hysterical rape-survivor abusers perpetrators sexual-abuse survivor abuse abuse-survivors abuser attack-on-character attacking-people backlash break-the-silence child-sexual-abuse child-sexual-abuse-survivor false-memories false-memory-myth false-memory-syndrome-campaign healing-from-abuse incest just-tell lack-of-accountability perpetrator pschological-abuse rape-culture rape-myths sexual-assault sexual-violence unstable victimized victimizing
The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.
Judith Lewis HermanTag: safety refuge violence victim protection promises survivor abuse perpetrator domestic-violence victimization abused-women battered-women batterers battering self-protection
The more you face the truth, the angrier you will probably become. You have a right to be angry about being sexually abused. You have a right to be angry with the perpetrator, regardless of who it was, how long ago the sexual abuse occurred, or how much he/she has changed.
Beverly EngelTag: innocence anger rape victim sexual-abuse abuser perpetrator truth-inspirational
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