Is Lisa going to the prom?"
I shelved my worries for the moment. "I don't know, Mom. We don't talk about the You-Know-What. We made a pact."
"You could go together, if you didn't want to mess with dates and things."
"I don't want to mess with the prom at all, Mom."
She ignored me, placidly eating popcorn, piece by piece. "Some girls in my high school class did that and had a wonderful time. They weren't lesbians or anything. Not that it would matter if they were."
"That's nice, Mom. I'm glad you're so open-minded." I grabbed my Coke and the popcorn bowl and headed for the stairs, because I could go my whole life without ever hearing my mother talk about lesbians again.
"Maybe you could take Justin to the prom," she called after me, laughter in her voice. "He is such a hottie."
Shoot me now.
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Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that popular kids do because they are boring people with porcelain hearts who don't know what it means to be lonely. But you're wrong. Prom is a chance for everyone to try oral sex. Go for it.
Eugene MirmanTag: humor advice school parties sex prom
Once upon a time there was an eighteen-year-old girl who dragged her butt out of bed and hauled it all the way to school on a sunny day in May.
Laurie Halse AndersonTag: prom
Guys don't understand great art. They don't care that sometimes the camera has power beyond the photographer to record emotion that only the heart can see. They're threatened when the camera jumps ahead of me. Todd Kovich was pissed when I brought my Nikon to the prom, but I'd missed too many transcendent shots over the years to ever take a chance of missing one again. A prom, I told him, had a boundless supply of photogenic bozos who could be counted on to do something base.
Joan BauerTag: photography artists high-school prom boyfriend
Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds," I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force.
John GreenTag: humor boys dating high-school prom john-green paper-towns
The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle.
John GreenTag: friendship college prom road-trip young-adults missing-person teen-novel
But why didn't you just ask me?" I set down my fork and glare at her.
"Because you were sleeping," She says, taking a sip if Chardonnay.
"I was taking a nap, Mom. It wasn't intended to be some kind of Disney fairy-tale hundred-year snooze.
Tag: art queen prom geeks alyson noel rio
Maybe we'll have vampire prom."
He shot me an appalled look. "What is this, Twilight?
And from the whole she deduced this useful lesson, that to go previously engaged to a ball, does not necessarily increase either the dignity or enjoyment of a young lady.
Jane AustenTag: austen prom jane timeless dances
Mean girls die young, sweetie. Take my word for it.
Lena BrownTag: prom paranormal-fiction mean-girls
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