I find myself wishing that I could work that magic for her. That I could bring the smile back to her face. But I slap at those thoughts as if they were mosquitoes. What am I doing, caring so much about my best friend's love? I deny my feelings for her because they shouldn't exist.
Amy PlumIt's with a feeling of despair that I return her to his arms. I want him to be angry. I want him to challenge me. Because then the truth will be out and I won't have to hide my feelings. But he trusts me too much to suspect me. And I love him too much to hurt him.
Amy PlumTheir poses are all different but the face is the same. Painted from memory in scene after scene is the fresh-faced beauty. Kate.
It's the bargain I've made with myself. If I can't caress her body with my hands, I paint it with my brushes. Use my fingers to trace her lines.
She leaves an empty hole behind her. There was this feeling of optimism and joy in the house when she was around that's now turned into void. Like Vincent, I feel hollow. Sad. And as the days pass, I begin to realize I've grown to care for Kate. Not as my best friend's girlfriend, but as someone in and of herself. And I realize I miss her.
Amy PlumYou're sure you don't need me to walk you home?" I say, lifting my eyebrow and giving her my most flirtatious smile.
She refuses but blushes deeply-hot pink spreading across her cheeks. As usual, I feel a wild rush of success. I love flirting more than food. Or even fighting. And evoking a blush is one of the most satisfying results I can hope for.
I like this girl, I find myself thinking. I'm actually looking forward to her being around.
She is my inspiration. My muse. My obsession.
Amy PlumI introduce the two girls. Kate leans over and whispers, "She's gorgeous!" And I respond with the truth: "She has nothing on you, of course, Kates. It's just that you are so very... taken.
Amy PlumI know what's coming next. I look at Giulianna's expertly made-up face, sink into her catlike beauty, and then close my eyes and I'm kissing Kate. I don't even try to stop it anymore-this happens every time. With every girl.
Amy PlumShe loves Vincent body and soul. He is her true love. She will never feel for me what she does for him. But I will never stop loving her. And I have to learn to live with that.
Amy PlumAnd carefully... tenderly... taking my time with every brushstroke, I sketch the curve of her neck, apply the crimson of her lips, form her face into a two-dimensional tribute to her beauty.
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