After this, I couldn't hear their voices any longer; for in my ears I heard a sound like a bird's wings flapping in panic. Perhaps it was my heart, I don't know. But if you've ever seen a bird trapped inside the great hall of a temple, looking for some way out, well, that was how my mind was reacting. It had never occurred to me that my mother wouldn't simply go on being sick. I won't say I'd never wondered what might happen if she should die; I did wonder about it, in the same way I wondered what might happen if our house were swallowed up in an earthquake. There could hardly be life after such an event.
Arthur GoldenI knew even then that she was right. An en is a karmic bond lasting a lifetime. Nowadays many people seem to believe their lives are entirely a matter of choice; but in my day we viewed ourselves as pieces of clay that forever show the fingerprints of everyone who has touched them. Nobu's touch had made a deeper impression on me than most. No one could tell me whether he would be my ultimate destiny, but I had always sensed the en between us. Somewhere in the landscape of my life Nobu would always be present. But could it really be that of all the lessons I'd learned, the hardest one lay just ahead of me? Would I really have to take each of my hopes and put them away where no one would ever see them again, where not even I would ever see them?
Arthur GoldenStichwörter: choice destiny impression geisha memoirs clay hopes memoirs-of-a-geisha
She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water. It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret.
Arthur GoldenI don't know for sure what ever became of Hatsumomo. A few years after the war, I heard she was making a living as a prostitute in the Miyagawa-cho district. She couldn't have been there long, because on the night I heard it, a man at the same party swore that if Hatsumomo was a prostitute, he would find her and give her some business of his own. He did go looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Over the years, she probably succeeded in drinking herself to death. She certainly wouldn't have been the first geisha to do it.
In just the way that a man can grow accustomed to a bad leg, we'd all grown accustomed to having Hatsumomo in our okiya. I don't think we quite understood all the ways her presence had afflicted us until long after she'd left, when things that we hadn't realized were ailing slowly began to heal. Even when Hatsumomo had been doing nothing more than sleeping in her room, the maids had known she was there, and that during the course of the day she would abuse them. They'd lived with the kind of tension you feel if you walk across a frozen pond whose ice might break at any moment. And as for Pumpkin, I think she'd grown to be dependent on her older sister and felt strangely lost without her.
I'd already become the okiya's principal asset, but even I took some time to weed out all the peculiar habits that had taken root because of Hatsumomo. Every time a man looked at me strangely, I found myself wondering if he'd heard something unkind about me from her, even long after she was gone. Whenever I climbed the stairs to the second floor of the okiya, I still kept my eyes lowered for fear that Hatsumomo would be waiting there on the landing, eager for someone to
abuse. I can't tell you how many times I reached that last step and looked up suddenly with the realization that there was no Hatsumomo, and there never would be again. I knew she was gone, and yet the very emptiness of the hall seemed to suggest something of her presence. Even now, as an older woman, I sometimes lift the brocade cover on the mirror of my makeup stand, and have the briefest flicker of a thought that I may find her there in the glass, smirking at me.
Estava a viver apenas metade em Gion, a outra metade de mim vivia nos meus sonhos de regressar a casa. É por isso que os sonhos podem ser coisas tão perigosas; continuam acesos mesmo sem chama, e às vezes consomem-nos completamente
Arthur GoldenStichwörter: sonhos
Eu nunca procuro derrotar o homem que estou a combater - explicou ele - procuro derrotar a confiança que ele tem em si próprio. Uma mente perturbada pela dúvida não se pode concentrar no curso em direcção a vitória. Dois homens são iguais, verdadeiramente iguais, só quando têm ambos uma autoconfiança igual
Arthur GoldenStichwörter: autoconfiança
... agora sei que o nosso mundo não e mais permanente do que uma onda a erguer-se no oceano. E quaisquer que sejam as nossas lutas e triunfos, como quer que os possamos sofrer, muito rapidamente se dissolvem todos numa aguada, como tinta de pintar no papel
Arthur GoldenThe corridor couldn't have smelled more strongly of fish guts if we had actually been inside a fish.
Arthur Goldenich so sehr eine Konkurrenz für Dich, wie eine Pfütze als Meer gilt
Arthur GoldenTodos sabemos que una escena invernal de árboles cubiertos con mantos de nieve sería irreconocible a la primavera siguiente. No me podía imaginar, sin embargo, que algo así podía suceder dentro de nosotros mismos.
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