Conflict resolution,' said Nightingale. 'Is this what they teach at Hendon these days?'
'Yes, sir,' I said. 'But don't worry, they also teach us how to beat people with phone books and the ten best ways to plant evidence.

Ben Aaronovitch


Weiter zum Zitat


The study of the victim is called victimology because everything sounds better with and ology tacked on the end.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: humor police



Weiter zum Zitat


When I was a kid I used to drink from the tap all the time. I'd run back into the flat all hot and sweaty from playing and didn't even bother putting it in a glass, just turned the tap on and stuck my mouth underneath it. If my mom caught me doing it she used to scold me, but my dad just said that I had to be careful. 'What if a fish jumped out?' he used to say. 'You'd swallow it before you knew it was there.' Dad was always saying stuff like that and it wasn't until I was seventeen that I realised it was because he was stoned all the time.

Ben Aaronovitch


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For a terrifying moment I thought he was going to hug me, but fortunately we both remembered we were English just in time. Still, it was a close call.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: humour



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This is your brain on magic.

Ben Aaronovitch


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My dad was a fairy," said Zach. "And by that I don't mean he dressed well and enjoyed musical theatre.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: humorous-quotations



Weiter zum Zitat


This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: humor mothers



Weiter zum Zitat


It’s a truism in policing that witnesses and statements are fine, but nothing beats empirical physical evidence. Actually it isn’t a truism because most policemen think the word ‘empirical’ is something to do with Darth Vader, but it damn well should be.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: humor police



Weiter zum Zitat


What's the biggest thing you've zapped with a fireball?' I asked.
'That would be a tiger,'said Nightingale.
'Well don't tell Greenpeace,' I said. 'They're an endagered species.'
'Not that sort of tiger,' said Nightingale. 'A Panzer-kampfwagen sechs Ausf E.'
I stared at him. 'You knocked out a Tiger tank with a fireball?'
'Actually I knocked out two,' said Nightingale. 'I have to admit that the first one took three shots, one to disable the tracks, one through the driver's eye slot and one down the commander's hatch - brewed up rather nicely.

Ben Aaronovitch


Weiter zum Zitat


My Dad says that being a Londoner has nothing to do with where you're born. He says that there are people who get off a jumbo jet at Heathrow, go through immigration waving any kind of passport, hop on the tube and by the time the train's pulled into Piccadilly Circus they've become a Londoner.

Ben Aaronovitch

Stichwörter: london



Weiter zum Zitat


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