I lost our babies for us,” she croaked. “My body wouldn’t hold them.
Deanna RoyMolar pregnancies like Janet’s are indeed rare, but they do happen. Over the last decade, frustrated and worried women have emailed me, asking why their doctors won’t pay attention to their symptoms, telling them to just “wait it out.” I think this happens because obstetricians see so many situations, and most of the time, it works out the way they expect—the recovery may be short, medium, or long, but will not require intervention. But statistics like one in five hundred are meaningless if you are the one. I always tell women who can’t get through to their doctors to start looking for one whose office responsiveness matches her needs. Not every doctor and every patient are going to be a good fit.
Deanna RoyDot sat forward and tugged another handful of bracelets from the snarl. “Here’s something I believe.” She held up a green bracelet so that the sun shone clear through the colors on the beads. “I believe that when women like us meet, that our children in heaven also find their way to each other, on account of us all being in the same place and them watching over. So they’re all together—Stella your pair, Melinda’s, and mine. Right now, they’re up there, singing maybe, or playing Red Rover, and probably laughing at us sitting around trying to fix a mess we ourselves made.
Deanna RoyThe babies seem so very far away.
Deanna RoyYep. Some things are permanent.
Deanna RoyYou're a survivor. Each one of you. And survivors don't have the luxury of acting like regular people. We do what we have to do to get by.
Deanna RoyMelinda settled back against the bricks. Just go in. Let me escape. Jake would interrogate her, no doubt. Maybe she should just never go home. Get a job again and be independent. Avoid the thought of having babies. Or failing at it.
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She knew life still had its problems. Jake still hated her dog. Sarah would still connive to set her children against her. Anna would still be a teenager and prone to outbursts. Her new job, if she took one, might not work out.
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, repeatedly visiting the online baby calendar to see what stage of growth the baby would have been in.
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One part of her knew this was crazy. But most of her didn’t care.
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