Into every sunny life a little rain must fall.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: memoir
I start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one I'll have to fight for as long as I live. I wonder if it's worth it.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: depression
In the meantime, I could withdraw to my room, could hide and sleep as if I were dead
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: suicide memories depression
When things get unbearable, I wrap myself into a tight ball and shut my eyes. Every muscle in my body is tense. I open my eyes and I'm still where I was when I closed them to escape. Nothing's changed.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: depression
And I want out of this life on drugs.
Elizabeth WurtzelI start to get the feeling that something is really wrong. Like all the drugs put together – the lithium, the Prozac, the desipramine, and Desyrel that I take to sleep at night – can no longer combat whatever it is that was wrong with me in the first place. I feel like a defective model.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: drugs shame depression treatment prozac depression-stories psychiatric-drugs defective defective-humans
The brief relief of seeing other people when I leave my room turns into a desperate need to be alone, and then being alone turns into a terrible fear that I will have no friends, I will be alone in this world and in my life. I will eventually be so crazy from this black wave, which seems to be taking over my head with increasing frequency, that one day I will just kill myself, not for any great, thoughtful existential reasons, but because I need immediate relief.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: depression
Woke up this morning afraid I was gonna live.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: depression
Bitch: In praise of difficult women.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: bitch
Experience," which is just a euphemism for heartache and heartbreak, failed love and false promises, for every time you told yourself This is the real thing and Finally I've found my way home only to end up lost in a muck or lying across rickety train tracks, praying for deliverance and not knowing if that would mean getting run over or being spared; "experience," which is a neutral word that most people know only means something good on a resume, a term that in the rest of life is more like a criminal rap sheet full of mishaps that cannot be expunged, this indelible quality made more frightening because there are no authorities keeping track, no one is forcing you to remember these things, it is all your own fault, it is only you who cannot forget; "experience," which is supposed to be the playground and peep show and life-size labyrinth of adolescence, which can, when it occurs at the right time in life...if it is delivered in moderate and judicious measure...make you a more capable lover and friend, spouse and partner.
Elizabeth WurtzelStichwörter: life past experience
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