HAPPY EVER AFTER
is a concept I'll never believe
in. I would be content to sample
some little taste of happiness
today, tonight, right now. Though I know
without a doubt that tomorrow
will come saturated with pain.
Life is like that. At least
my life. And honestly, I cant
think of anyone whose life
is any different. The price
tag for joy is misery. [...]
Stichwörter: raeanne
I know I can't stay here forever
Ellen HopkinsStichwörter: raeanne
I've Got A Little Problem
And I'm not really sure how to fix it.
Not really sure I need to. Not really sure I could.
Life is pretty good. But once in a while, uninvited and uninitiated anger invades me.
It starts, a tiny gnaw at the back of my brain. Like a migraine except without pain. They say headaches blossom, but this isn't so much a blooming as a bleeding. Irritation bleeds into rage, seethes into fury. An ulcer, emptying hatred inside me. And I don't know why. Life is pretty good.
So, what the hell?
When You Weren’t Looking The child became a woman, though she wasn’t ready to. Don’t ask how or why. Those questions are not important ones. Can’t you see you didn’t care enough to notice?
Ellen HopkinsLove is more than blind. It’s brain-dead.
Ellen HopkinsCan’t promise I’ll stay. That would be lying. And I’m so, so tired of lies.
Ellen HopkinsI don’t belong here. I know that. But I don’t belong anywhere else, either. And that is at the heart of the black depression pressing down on me, flattening me. I have no place. No home. Sex, but no real affection. I am kept, but not cherished.
Ellen HopkinsWhen all choice is taken from you, life becomes a game of survival.
Ellen HopkinsYou can’t walk away from someone you love, leave them drowning in your desertion. If love has no more meaning than that, you can keep it. I don’t want it now or ever again. Don’t want to hear the word or wear its scars.
Ellen HopkinsI told her about the man, not my daddy, she said, He was only making you into a real girl. I didn’t understand. But I made myself believe her. I was a real girl now. But what was I before?
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