She screams my name, and I know she’s coming.
God, I love her voice.
Stichwörter: tangled emma-chase
When I was ten, we had a dog. He humped everything and anything—from the maid’s leg to my parents’ four-poster bed. He was insatiable. My parents were mortified whenever company stopped by. But now I realize he really wasn’t a bad dog.
It wasn’t his fault.
I feel your pain, Fido.
Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra.
Emma ChaseAfter this? Heaven's going to be a major disappointment.
Emma ChaseYou ever seen A Christmas Story? You know toward the end when Ralphie beats the ever-loving shit out of the bully? I hope to God you've seen it. Because then you'll know exactly what I mean when I say I'm about to go real fucking Ralphie on this son of a bitch.
Emma ChaseIf you put two pregnant hamsters in the same cage, you know what they'll do? Eat each other. Female hormones are like undetonated warheads. There's just no telling when they're going to go the fuck off.
Emma ChaseStichwörter: tangled
Vaginas beat penises every time.
They're like kryptonite.
Penises are defenseless against them.
Maybe you’ll understand my point of view if I put it this way. You brush your teeth, right? Well,
suppose your favorite toothpaste is Aquafresh. But the store is out. All they have is Colgate. What are you
going to do? You’re going to use the Colgate, right?
You may want to brush with Aquafresh, but when all is said and done, you use what you have to keep
those pearly whites clean. See my way of thinking? Good.
My mother always told me, “Anyone worth doing, is worth doing well.” Okay, she didn’t actually say those exact words, but you get the picture.
Emma ChaseI once heard my mother tell my father that she shouldn’t have to explain why she was pissed. That if he didn’t already know what he’d done wrong, then he wasn’t really sorry for it. What the fuck does that even mean? Newsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.
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