Elle wondered if he had regrets. But she didn't let herself wonder for too long. She had locked her heart up against him, and it would take something extraordinarily strong to break it open.
Harriet EvansStichwörter: moving-on regrets heartache
I hate the fact that it obsesses me so much. Who're we gonna end up with?
It's a race, and everyone else is on the tracks and I'm at the wrong venue, with the wrong shoes on."
"That's rubbish. He's out there, I promise."
"How do you know?"
" I don't," said Elle firmly. " I just like to kid myself that he is. And if he's not, well, there's more to life than just hanging around ruining your life waiting for him. Much more.
Stichwörter: uncertainty
I'm not weird,' Elle said defensively.
'I mean in a good way. All the best people are.' He swallowed, as if he were thinking carefully. Elle saw he was a little bit drunk. 'You've got staying power. Like with the Georgette Heyers. Reading all of them, getting obsessive about them. And you know, much better to be obsessed with crummy romance books than, er - hard-core porn, or something.
Stichwörter: obsessive-compulsions wired-habits
She didn't want to forget how deeply she had loved him, how important it had been to her; she felt as if to discard the memory would be a betrayal of her younger self.
Harriet EvansStichwörter: nostalgia memories the-past
Elle Remembered Yorkshire road and the flat he shared with Caitlin and their daughter, and she almost stopped and turned back, and then she hardened herself against it.
It's his problem if he wants to sleep with someone and he shouldn't, she told herself. It's a one night thing. I'm in the clear. It's sex, nothing else.
Stichwörter: sex lust messy-connections
She didn't realise it, for a long time, and it wasn't until they were having dinner one evening that he said something that she found funny and she looked at him and thought, Yes. I know you. I know you
Harriet EvansStichwörter: love
She was different. She liked hearing it, because she wanted to recall just enough of it to remember that she never wanted to go back to being the person she'd been before.
Harriet EvansStichwörter: moving-on
Life would be easier for some people if it wasn't such a big deal
Harriet EvansStichwörter: life
She, who had never liked weddings, had allowed herself this fantasy. Her wedding day to Rory. A pretty church in Sussex, festooned with spring flowers. Rows of relatives, and her, Elle, floating down the aisle in cream silk to 'The arrival of queen Sheba', with eyes only for him... Rory, slightly rumpled, slightly scared, her love, her only one.
But that wasn't how it had turned out. She knew she was OK, watching him, in fact she was happy for him, happy for Libby. But she couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the girl she'd been, who'd loved him so much. She was still dreaming somewhere, hoping this day would come.
Stichwörter: nostalgia moving-on heartache
I like the idea of being with someone forever, being married to them.
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