in momentul acela il preocupau cateva carti in care niste tineri deosebit de abili isi imaginau ca inalta, piatra cu piatra, o noua cultura, furand, intr'un limbaj catifelat, placut auzului, tot felul de odoare, frumoase si usor de transportat, cand de la Ruskin cand de la Nietzsche. cartile astea erau mult mai agreabile decat cele de Ruskin si Nietzsche, aveau un farmec cochet, generos in nuante fine, si o stralucire nobila, matasoasa. si unde miza era insemnata si impunea autoritate si pasiune, erau citati Dante si Zarathustra.
de aceea avea si Homburger fruntea innegurata, privirea ostenita, ca si cum ar fi strabatut spatii imense, iar pasul ii era agitat si inegal. simtea ca lumea obisnuita, searbada, care'l inconjura, era luata cu asalt, si ca venise vremea sa treaca de partea profetilor si a celor care aduceau noua mantuire. atunci frumusetea si spiritul ar inunda lumea si orice pas in ea ar musti de poezie si intelepciune.
de data asta, contrar obiceiului, domnul Homburger s'a trezit dimineata inaintea tuturor. vioi nu era. il durea capul de la cititul indelungat la lumina lampii. cand, in sfarsit, stinsese lumina, patul era deja prea incalzit si ravasit ca sa'i fie prielnic somnul si acum se scula stors de puteri, infrigurat, cu privirile sterse. simtea mai limpede ca oricand necesitatea unei renasteri, dar in clipa aceea nu avea nici un chef sa'si continue studiul. apoi a simtit un fel de gol launtric si a'nceput sa chibzuiasca daca nu cumva se va servi in curand cafeaua.
Truly, nothing in the world has so occupied my thoughts as this I, this riddle, the fact I am alive, that I am separated and isolated from all others, that I am Siddhartha! And about nothing in the world do I know less about than me, about Siddhartha!
Hermann HesseStichwörter: self
Siddhartha stopped fighting his fate this very hour, and he stopped suffering.
Hermann HesseTegularius was a willful, moody person who refused to fit into his society. Every so often he would display the liveliness of his intellect. When highly stimulated he could be entrancing; his mordant wit sparkled and he overwhelmed everyone with the audacity and richness of his sometimes somber inspirations. But basically he was incurable, for he did not want to be cured; he cared nothing for co-ordination and a place in the scheme of things. He loved nothing but his freedom, his perpetual student status, and preferred spending his whole life as the unpredictable and obstinate loner, the gifted fool and nihilist, to following the path of subordination to the hierarchy and thus attaining peace. He cared nothing for peace, had no regard for the hierarchy, hardly minded reproof and isolation. Certainly he was a most inconvenient and indigestible component in a community whose idea was harmony and orderliness. But because of this very troublesomeness and indigestibility he was, in the midst of such a limpid and prearranged little world, a constant source of vital unrest, a reproach, an admonition and warning, a spur to new, bold, forbidden, intrepid ideas, an unruly, stubborn sheep in the herd.
Hermann HesseStichwörter: freedom iconoclasm
He lost his Self a thousand times and for days on end he dwelt in non-being. But although the paths took him away from Self, in the end they always led back to it. Although Siddhartha fled from the Self a thousand times, dwelt in nothing, dwelt in animal and stone, the return was inevitable; the hour was inevitable when he would again find himself in sunshine or in moonlight, in shadow or in rain, and was again Self and Siddhartha, again felt the torment of the onerous life cycle.
Hermann HesseStichwörter: loss personhood
[H]e never ceased in his heroic and earnest endeavor to love them, to be just to them, to do them no harm, for the love of his neighbor was as deeply in him as the hatred of himself, and so his whole life was an example that love of one's neighbor is not possible without love of oneself, and that self-hate is really the same thing as sheer egoism, and in the long run breeds the same cruel isolation and despair.
Hermann HesseA man cannot live intensely except at the cost of the self. Now the bourgeois treasures nothing more highly than the self (rudimentary as his may be). And so at the cost of intensity he achieves his own preservation and security. His harvest is a quiet mind which he prefers to being possessed by God, as he does comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to that deathly inner consuming fire. The bourgeois is consequently by nature a creature of weak impulses, anxious, fearful of giving himself away and easy to rule. Therefore, he has substituted majority for power, law for force, and the polling booth for responsibility.
Hermann HesseWell, I had often pondered all this, not without an intense longing sometimes to turn to and do something real for once, to be seriously and responsibly active instead of occupying myself forever with nothing but esthetics and intellectual and artistic pursuits. It always ended, however, in resignation, in surrender to destiny.
Hermann HesseI cannot understand what pleasures and joys they are that drive people to the overcrowded railways and hotels, into the packed cafés with the suffocating and oppressive music, to the Bars and variety entertainments, to World Exhibitions, to the Corsos. I cannot understand nor share these joys, though they are within my reach, for which thousands of others strive. On the other hand, what happens to me in my rare hours of joy, what for me is bliss and life and ecstasy and exaltation, the world in general seeks at most in imagination; in life it finds it absurd. And in fact, if the world is right, if this music of the cafés, these mass enjoyments and these Americanised men who are pleased with so little are right, then I am wrong, I am crazy. I am in truth the Steppenwolf that I often call myself; that beast astray who finds neither home nor joy nor nourishment in a world that is strange and incomprehensible to him.
Hermann HesseI have no desire to walk on water," said Siddhartha. "Let the old shramanas satisfy themselves with such skills.
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