What do you see when you look at me?”
“I see you,” he answered as if it was obvious. “It’s not like I see a place, or a time, or a name: just you. Your essence. Your soul. That’s how I find you every time you come back. I know it’s hard to understand, but your soul calls me…and I’m drawn to it. I couldn’t keep away if I tried.”
Sage raised his hand to my cheek, cupping it gently. I closed my eyes, resting against the warmth of his palm. When I opened them he had moved closer.
I closed the distance between us and kissed him.
I felt dizzy and hot and floaty, like every cliché…but it was true. I couldn’t feel my feet. I finally felt like I was where my soul belonged.
There was only one problem. The gearshift was digging into my side.
“Ow!” I winced.
“You okay?”
“Yeah…it’s just…” I gestured down, feeling like an idiot for ruining the moment.
Sage didn’t seem to mind. He reached down and moved his seat back to its maximum leg room, then held out his hand. I grabbed it and clambered over the center console, clumsily ducking and folding myself until I finally settled onto his lap, straddling his legs. It was the least coordinated act of seduction ever.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better.”
He kissed me, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt. It felt incredible. Without breaking away from his lips, I reached underneath his tee and felt his bare, sleek chest. My breath came faster, caught up in the frenzy of finally letting go and doing what I’d been dying to do from the second I’d seen Sage on the beach.
“Wait,” he said.
He reached down and pulled a lever. I let out a little scream as his seat back dropped all the way and I fell on top of him. I loved the feel of his body under mine. I didn’t want a single part of us not touching.
“Better now?” Sage murmured into my ear. It wasn’t fair of him to ask me a question when he was doing that. I could barely function, never mind put together an answer.
“Much better,” I said. “It’s practically a bed.”
“Is it?” Sage agreed, and in his eyes I saw exactly what that could mean.
“Oh,” I said, suddenly nervous. “But…we can’t. I mean, we don’t have…”
“I do,” he said, leaning down to kiss the hollow where my neck met my shoulder.
“You do?”
I tensed up. Why did he have one? For who?
The corner of Sage’s mouth turned up. “For us, Clea. The drugstore in Rio? I kind of had a feeling…”
He moved his lips back to my neck. He nibbled on my earlobe, and I whimpered.
“Oh,” I managed. “Well…then…”
“I love you, Clea.”
Everything tunneled in, and I heard the words echo in my head. Sage loved me. Me. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped breathing until he said my name, concerned.
“Clea?”
I looked at him and immediately relaxed.
“I love you, too.”
We kissed, and I actually felt myself melting into him as my last coherent thoughts gave way to pure sensation.
Oh my God, Rayna…I think something almost happened with Ben and me in Rio.”
“What? Wait, back up. When? You mean, ‘almost happened’ like…what? What exactly almost happened?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “It all went really fast. I was feeling all these things, and he was looking at me like…like he was in that picture, and then…”
“Yeah??”
“I saw Sage.”
“Ooooh,” Rayna winced. “What did Ben do?”
“Nothing. I mean, I ran after Sage and…you know everything that happened then. We haven’t even talked about it.” I looked at her plaintively. “What do I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
I thought about it. “I don’t know.”
“Well…how do you feel? She asked.
“I don’t know that either. I never even thought about Ben that way except for that split second in Rio, and even then I wasn’t thinking of it seriously. And Sage…with Sage it’s all I think about, but it’s all jumbled up with the most insane things: dreams, and other lives, and other people’s memories, and…I don’t even know what’s real.”
Rayna took it all in.
“I love Ben,” she said. “You know that. I think you guys could be great together. I also believe in soulmates. Not just as romantic flings, like the guys in Europe, but true soulmates, destined to be together forever because they’re perfect for each other. Are you and Sage true soulmates? I don’t know, but I do know you’re cheating yourself if you don’t at least try to find out.”
“How do I find that out, Rayna?”
“I want you to do me a favor. Promise on our friendship.”
“Promise what?”
“Asking first is cheating. Promise on our friendship.”
It was an evil ploy. Rayna knew I wouldn’t say no, and she knew I wouldn’t go back on something if I promised on our friendship. Neither of us ever would-that was a rule we’d established when we were five.
“Okay…I promise on our friendship,” I agreed, rolling my eyes. “What did I just promise to do?”
“For the rest of the evening, don’t think. Just listen to how you feel and go with it, wherever it leads. And whether or not it makes any sense.”
I nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Not good enough. You promised on our friendship.”
I smiled. “I’ll do it.
Wow, this pizza is so good,” I said, swallowing a gooey bite.
“It is,” Ben agreed. “But I think Sage needs a little more garlic on his. Piri says he loves the stuff.”
“Nice,” I said, nodding.
“So what have you guys been doing since we got to the hotel?” Rayna asked.
“Playing cribbage,” Ben said. “Ask Sage who won.”
“You say that like you never lost a game,” Sage countered.
“Not at all. I’m just asking you to inform the ladies who won the most games.”
“That would be you,” Sage admitted.
“Four out of seven,” Ben crowed, “which is like winning the Stanley Cup of cribbage.”
I had no idea what that meant. Ben had to explain that the Stanley Cup is a best-of-seven match.
“I prefer soccer,” Sage said. “In the World Cup the preliminary games are just lead-ups to the final. And if Ben would be so kind as to let you know who won our final game…”
“Misnomer,” Ben said. “You won the last game we played before dinner, yes, but the final game won’t come until right before we go our separate ways. You let me know when you’re about to head back to South America for good, and I’ll bring out the cards for that match. I’m ready whenever you are.”
He said it lightly, but his eyes were steely, and we all picked up on his real message.
Ben had the most expressive face I’d ever seen. When he told a story, he dove into it, re-enacting each character with a new set of his jaw and cast of his brow. His eyes shone vibrantly, and every time he laughed, it showed in his whole body. Just watching him made me smile. I felt warm around him, and happy, and comfortable. I felt like flannel pajamas, hot cocoa, a teddy bear, and my favorite comedy on DVD. I felt like home.
I loved Ben, that’s what I felt. It popped into my head, and I didn’t doubt it for a second. I loved Ben.
Well that was settled then, wasn’t it?
Then my eyes darted to Sage, and I noticed he wasn’t focused on Ben’s story either. He was watching me. He was watching me watch Ben, to be precise, leaning back on his elbows and staring so fixedly that I could practically hear him scratching his way into my brain to listen to what I was thinking.
And the minute I felt that, I was desperate to take back what I’d thought, and make sure he hadn’t understood. Especially since I had this strong feeling that if he believed I loved Ben, he’d disappear. Maybe not right away, but as soon as he could. And that would be the end of the world.
“Okay, Sage, your turn,” Rayna said. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in the middle of a social function?”
Instantly Sage’s intense stare was gone, replaced by a relaxed pose and a charming smile. “Um, I would say doing a spit take in front of Clea’s mom, several senators, and the Israeli foreign minister would probably cover it.”
“You did that?” I asked.
“Oh yes, he did,” Rayna nodded.
“And the minister still offered you his house in Tel Aviv for the honeymoon? That’s shocking.”
“Rayna is particularly charming,” Sage noted.
“Thank you, darling.” She batted her eyes at him like a Disney princess.
“What happened?” Ben asked. “Piri spiked your drink with garlic?”
“You say that like it’s a joke,” Sage said. “I’m pretty sure she did.”
“She must really have it out for you,” Ben said. “Palinka’s Hungarian holy water. You don’t mess with that.”
“Speaking of holy water, I so did not get that on our trip,” Rayna put in. “Clea and I were touring one of the cathedrals in Italy, and in front of the whole tour I go, “That’s too cute! Look, they have birdbaths in the church!
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face/
I felt giddy all the way back to the hotel.
I giggled.
I was happy.
Sage leaned back in his seat and studied me, an amused smile on his face.
“What?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“You’re making fun of me,” I said.
“I’m not,” Sage assured me.
I knew he was telling the truth. His eyes were affectionate. I was his, not just in the past but today and forever, and nothing had ever made me feel more secure.
I was about to pull into the hotel when Sage reminded me of the snacks-the whole reason we’d supposedly gone out. I swung a wild U-turn that slammed Sage against his door.
“Taking up stunt driving?” he asked.
“Can you imagine walking in without the snacks? Rayna would be all over me.”
“You don’t think she will be anyway? It’s been a long snack run.”
“It hasn’t been that long,” I said. “Has it?”
He scrunched his brows. “What are you trying to say?”
I giggled again, and we pulled into a gas station market. Sage wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned against his chest as we walked in step into the store; he held my hand as I cruised the tiny aisles; he stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders as we paid.
I felt normal. I imagined how things would be after everything was over: after we met the dark lady, after we got the Elixir, after we found my dad. Sage and I could travel the world together: me taking pictures, him painting, always coming back together at the end of the day to share what we’d done and lie in each other’s arms.
We have snacks, everybody!”
“Where’d you get them from, Delaware?” Ben asked. He was glaring behind me, where Sage leaned casually against the wall.
“Practically,” I said. “My fault-I was dying for Red Hots. Pretty much impossible to find. So what movie are we watching?”
Back in the cave, Sage had told me I wasn’t much of an actress, and apparently he was right. I thought I put on a brilliant show, but Ben’s eyes were filled with suspicion, Rayna looked like she was ready to pounce, and Sage seemed to be working very hard to stifle his laughter.
Rayna yawned. “Can’t do it. I’m so tired. I’m sorry, but I have to kick you guys out and get some sleep.”
She wasn’t much better at acting than I was. I knew she wanted to talk, but the idea of being away from Sage killed me.
“No worries,” I said. “I can bring he snacks to the guys’ room. We can watch there and let you sleep.”
“Great!” Ben said.
Rayna gaped, and in the space of ten seconds, she and I had a full conversation with only our eyes.
Rayna: “What the hell?”
Me: “I know! But I want to hang out with Sage.”
Rayna: “Are you insane?! You’ll be with him for the rest of your life. I’m only with you until morning!”
I couldn’t fight that one. She was right.
“Actually, I’m pretty tired too,” I said. I even forced a yawn, though judging from Sage’s smirk, it wasn’t terribly convincing.
“You sure?” Ben asked. He was staring at me in a way that made me feel X-rayed.
“Positive. Take some snacks, though. I got dark chocolate M
I took a cinnamon roll and waved it under her nose.
“Mmmm,” she said, her eyes still closed. I waved it around some more, totally amused that I was messing with her dreams.
“AAAH!” I screamed as Rayna’s head zipped forward and she chomped down on the roll.
“Excellent!” she said, sitting up. “Thanks!”
“Rayna! You almost bit my finger off!”
“You asked for it.” She took another bite. “Mmmm. Oh my God, this is totally better than sex.” She looked at me pointedly. “Would you agree?”
“Whoa, subtle much?”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She knew it was the right thing to say, but her eyes were so clearly dying to know that I laughed out loud. I actually wanted to talk about it now, just to keep it alive in my head.
I told her everything. Watching her reactions was like watching a silent movie: Her face registered every detail in IMAX-size emotions.
“Am I allowed to have a moment of “ew” for my poor deflowered passenger seat?” she asked when I was finished.
I winced and buried my head in my hands. “Um…yeah.”
“Thank you.” She paused a moment, then grinned and burst out, “Clea, oh my God!!”
“I know. I know.”
“So what happens now?”
“We go to Tokyo, just like we’d planned.”
“What about Ben?” she asked. “Are you going to tell Ben?”
I looked at her like she was crazy.
“Hello! Not like everything you told me, just-are you going to let him know you’re together?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t think so…”
“You really think you’re going to be able to hide it?
Even Ben thought it was strange-Sage had said he’d be down there. Ben wasn’t concerned, though. In fact, he looked a little giddy. “Maybe he decided not to come to Tokyo,” he chirped. “Oh well, we’ll do better with just the two of us.”
I loved Ben, but he was seriously transparent.
“We need Sage to get the Elixir, though.” Not that I cared about the Elixir at the moment. I was actually starting to worry. Where was Sage? Was he okay?
“He says we need him,” Ben scoffed. “I bet the dark lady will tell us everything we need.”
“Try his cell,” I told Rayna.
She pulled out her phone and dialed. “No answer.”
“Text him.”
“Maybe he just bailed,” Ben said.
Ben was just way too happy about this. I got it, but it was irritating.
As I watched him, he turned it curiously, then pressed a button on the side of the case. The crystal kitty head popped up to reveal a hidden compact mirror.
“I think it’s you,” I chirped.
Ben wheeled around and smiled approvingly. “I like it. Very Japanese.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I also got something for you.”
“I’m not wearing a wig.”
“You’re such a downer.” I handed him a baseball cap, then took off my camera case and slung it around his neck. “There: Generic American Tourist. No one will look twice at you.”
“I’ll choose not to take that as an insult.
How dare he? After what we did last night, how the hell dare he?
If he was my soulmate, my soul needed to develop better taste.
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