Being an only child makes me the oldest child and the youngest child. And the middle child.
Jarod KintzI’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?
Jarod KintzWith over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.
Jarod KintzThe only time I like traffic lights turning yellow or red is in the fall.
Jarod KintzI love giving love. The more I give, the more I have to give.
Jarod KintzYour deodorant smells like my armpit. And yet I get no royalty from the manufacturer.
Jarod KintzHe died a suspicious death. But only because he was a politician, and everything he did was suspicious.
Jarod KintzSitting down never feels so great as after standing for eight hours on someone’s testicles.
Jarod KintzHe looked like a raccoon, so I told him to take off his coonskin cap. So he did. Then he looked like a rat, so I told him to put the cap back on.
Jarod KintzA lie makes up 3/4ths of life.
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