That was the awakening, really; it dawned on me that this wasn't really very fair on anyone. On her. On me. On Sienna. But I wasn't willing to change anything, either. I was fiercely protective of my friendship with Sienna. I had fought for it, against my true feelings, for years. I had battled so hard to suppress my feelings, and succeeded. I could never let her go.
Jessica ThompsonStichwörter: inability-to-let-go long-term-friendship
I needed to learn how to redesign the route to my heart so someone else stood a chance in hell of navigating it.
Jessica ThompsonI'll be honest with you here... I'd describe it as a wild, almost uncontrollable need to be a part of that person's life. A passion, really. Yes - in fact, the best way of describing it is if you lost everything - your job, your home, your car - but that person was still by your side, none of it would really matter.
Jessica ThompsonI like to pick things apart, analyse them and put them back in a better order than they had been in before
Jessica ThompsonStichwörter: analysis
I never wanted to be the one to break her heart, to disappoint her, to be late for dinner or to hog the bed. I never wanted to be the person to make her cry, or turn out to be a huge let-down. She meant to much to me for any of that. While I believed I could love her better than anyone in the world, I didn't really trust myself to be... Well, good enough.
Jessica ThompsonStichwörter: love being-good-enough
This connection had the potential to be too special to ruin it with the hurt of misfired romantic intentions. And while half of me wanted to tear his shirt off with my teeth, I also wanted him to be in my life for the duration. I didn't want him to be the one I avoided because he'd hurt me. If I was just his friend, then I would still be blessed. If it meant swallowing my pride and being his shoulder when he got hurt, or being the one he ranted at when he was angry, I was prepared to do it with dignity.
Jessica ThompsonStichwörter: friendship love connections
She looked different. Oh yes, that was it - I didn't love her anymore.
People do look different when you fall out of love with them.
Stichwörter: old-love
Heartbroken men are like wild animals, running around with hysteria in their eyes, desperately trying to knock the dents out of their egos.
Jessica ThompsonStichwörter: men heartbreak
I believe that love is an overwhelming, all-consuming force, and when it’s genuine you can’t really ignore it. No matter how long it takes. It knocks down your door by force. It keeps you awake at night. It plagues your thoughts and burns your soul.
Jessica ThompsonI still can't help but love Sienna, though, I adore her. looking at her still makes me melt somewhere deep in my soul. Her presence lifts me up more than anyone else I know. Thinking about her fills me with happiness. What we have is unique. But I have accepted that she will never be mine, so I have to just love her from a distance and move on. It's working. It really is. I am finally achieving peace.
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