Life overflows with imperfections, but some matter more than others
Jonathan Safran FoerJonathan Safran Foer’s 10 Rules for Writing:
1.Tragedies make great literature; unfathomable catastrophes (the Holocaust, 9/11) are even better – try to construct your books around them for added gravitas but, since those big issues are such bummers, make sure you do it in a way that still focuses on a quirky central character that’s somewhat like Jonathan Safran Foer.
2. You can also name your character Jonathan Safran Foer.
3. If you’re writing a non-fiction book you should still make sure that it has a strong, deep, wise, and relatable central character – someone like Jonathan Safran Foer.
4. If you reach a point in your book where you’re not sure what to do, or how to approach a certain scene, or what the hell you’re doing, just throw in a picture, or a photo, or scribbles, or blank pages, or some illegible text, or maybe even a flipbook. Don’t worry if these things don’t mean anything, that’s what postmodernism is all about. If you’re not sure what to put in, you can’t go wrong with a nice photograph of Jonathan Safran Foer.
5. If you come up with a pun, metaphor, or phrase that you think is really clever and original, don’t just use it once and throw it away, sprinkle it liberally throughout the text. One particularly good phrase that comes to mind is “Jonathan Safran Foer.”
6. Don’t worry if you seem to be saying the same thing over and over again, repetition makes the work stronger, repetition is good, it drives the point home. The more you repeat a phrase or an idea, the better it gets. You should not be afraid of repeating ideas or phrases. One particularly good phrase that comes to mind is “Jonathan Safran Foer.”
7. Other writers are not your enemies, they are your friends, so you should feel free to borrow some of their ideas, words, techniques, and symbols, and use them completely out of context. They won’t mind, they’re your friends, just like my good friend Paul Auster, with whom I am very good friends. Just make sure you don’t steal anything from Jonathan Safran Foer, it wouldn’t be nice, he is your friend.
8. Make sure you have exactly three plots in your novel, any more and it gets confusing, any less and it’s not postmodern. At least one of those plots should be in a different timeline. It often helps if you name these three plots, I often use “Jonathan,” “Safran,” and “Foer.”
9. Don’t be afraid to make bold statements in you writing, there should always be a strong lesson to be learned, such as “don’t eat animals,” or “the Holocaust was bad,” or “9/11 was really really sad,” or “the world would be a better place if everyone was just a little bit more like Jonathan Safran Foer.”
10. In the end, don’t worry if you’re unsuccessful as a writer, it probably wasn’t meant to be. Not all of us are chosen to become writers. Not all of us can be Jonathan Safran Foer.
Stichwörter: rules-for-writing
Trebaju nam mnogo veći džepovi,razmišljao sam ležeći u krevetu i brojeći tih sedam minuta potrebnih normalnom čovjeku da utone u san.Trebaju nam divovski džepovi,džepovi dovoljno veliki za našu obitelj i prijatelje,čak i ljude koji nam nisu na popisu,ljude koje nikada nismo upoznali,ali ih ipak želimo zaštiti.Trebaju nam džepovi za gradske općine i za cijele gradove,džep u koji bi stao čitav svemir.
Ali znao sam da džepovi ne mogu biti toliko veliki.Na koncu svi ostanu bez sviju.To se ne može izbjeći nikakvim izumom,pa sam se,te noći,osjećao poput kornjače koja na leđima nosi sve ostalo što postoji u svemiru.
Trebam ti toliko toga ispričati,a poteškoća se krije u tome što mi ponestaje vremena,ponestaje mi prostora,ova se knjižica sve više ispunjava,jednostavno i ne bi mogao imati dovoljno stranica,jutros sam još jednom,posljednji put,pogledom obuhvatio stan i posvuda su se vidjele samo pisane riječi ,ispunjavale su zidove i ogledala,ja sam već bio smotao i sagove da mogu pisati po podovima,pisao sam i po prozorima i po bocama vina koje smo dobili,ali ih nikada nismo pili,samo nosim kratke rukave,čak i kad je hladno,jer su mi i ruke također knjige.Ali previše je stvari koje treba izraziti.Žao mi je.
Jonathan Safran FoerRazmišljam o svemu što sam učinila.I o svemu što nisam učinila.Pogreške su za mene mrtve.Ali ne mogu povući stvari koje nikada nisam učinila.
Jonathan Safran FoerHome is the place with the most rules.
Jonathan Safran FoerA mali mikrofoni?Kako bi bilo kad bi ih svi progutali,pa da preko malih zvučnika,koji bi se mogli nalaziti u nekom od džepova kombinezona,prenose zvuk vašeg srca?Kad biste noću na skejtbordu prolazili ulicom,mogli biste čuti kako drugima kuca srce,a oni bi mogli čuti vaše srce,nešto kao na ultrazvuku.Čudno je što se pitam bi li svima srce počelo kucati istovremeno,usklađeno,kao što sve žene koje žive zajedno imaju usklađene mjesečnice,za što znam,iako zapravo ne želim znati.To bi bilo tako neopisivo čudno,osim što bi ono mjesto u bolnici na kojem se rađaju bebe zvučalo poput kristalnog lustera na brodu,jer djeca još ne bi mogla uskladiti otkucaje.A na ciljnoj crti njujorškog maratona sve bi zvučalo kao da je izbio pravi rat.
Jonathan Safran FoerI’ was the last word I was able to speak aloud. I wanted to pull the thread, unravel the scarf of my silence and start again from the beginning, but instead I said, ‘I.’ I know I’m not alone in this disease, you hear the old people in the street and some of them are moaning, “Ay yay yay,” but some of them are clinging to their last word, ‘I,’ they’re saying, because they’re desperate, it’s not a complaint it’s a prayer, and then I lost ‘I’ and my silence was complete.
Jonathan Safran FoerShe wrote, I wish I could be a girl again, with the chance to live my life again. I have suffered so much more than I needed to. And the joys I have felt have not always been joyous. I could have lived differently. When I was your age, my grandfather bought me a ruby bracelet. It was too big for me and would slide up and down my arm. It was almost a necklace. He later told me that he had asked the jeweler to make it that way. Its size was supposed to be a symbol of his love. More rubies, more love. But I could not wear it comfortably. I could not wear it at all. So here is the point of everything I have been trying to say. If I were to give a bracelet to you, now, I would measure your wrist twice. With love, Your grandmother
Jonathan Safran FoerWhat if the water that came out of the shower was treated with a chemical that responded to a combination of things, like your heartbeat, and your body temperature, and your brain waves, so that your skin changed color according to your mood? If you were extremely excited your skin would turn green, and if you were angry you'd turn red, obviously, and if you felt like shiitake you'd turn brown, and if you were blue you'd turn blue. Everyone could know what everyone else felt, and we could be more careful with each other, because you'd never want to tell a person whose skin was purple that you're angry at her for being late, just like you would want to pat a pink person on the back and tell him, "Congratulations!" Another reason it would be a good invention is that there are so many times when you know you're feeling a lot of something, but you don't know what the something is. Am I frustrated? Am I actually just panicky? And that confusion changes your mood, it becomes your mood, and you become a confused, gray person. But with the special water, you could look at your orange hands and think, I'm happy! That whole time I was actually happy! What a relief!
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