Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.

Joseph Heller


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He was a spry, suave and very precise general who knew the circumference of the equator and always wrote "enhanced" when he meant "increased." He was a prick.

Joseph Heller


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You pompous, rotund, neighborly, vacuous, complacent... - Yossarian

Joseph Heller


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Colonel Cathcart was impervious to absolutes. He could measure his own progress only in relationship to others, and his idea of excellence was to do something at least as well as all the men his own age who were doing the same thing even better.

Joseph Heller


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He was never without misery, and never without hope.

Joseph Heller


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I lost my balls! Aarfy, I lost my balls!

Joseph Heller


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He could not make them shut-up; they were worse than women. They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed.

Joseph Heller


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You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don't like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate."

"Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously.

Joseph Heller


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He's back! He's back!"
"Who's back?" shouted someone else. "Who is it?"
"What does it mean? What should we do?"
"Are we on fire?"
"Get up and run, damn it! Everybody get up and run!

Joseph Heller


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It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar. What the hell does it mean when they disappear somebody?

Joseph Heller


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