To express want is to own the desire, to stand in your own reality. The easier alternative is the language of impairment: “I can’t come because I’m run down, overworked, under the gun, tired, sick, or not up to it.” The underlying message is, “I cannot attend because I am impaired,” rather than the more honest and self-respecting response: “I choose to not attend because I prefer the other option.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
Introvert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
We know we only have so much energy for reaching out; if we’re going to invest, we want it to be good.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
Introvert integrity means going the distance for what we love: moving from apology to acceptance, from acceptance to acknowledgement, and from acknowledgment to activism.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
Extroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But “fun” itself is a “bright” word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions of “fun” is “violent or excited activity or argument.” The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows—by myself.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
Introverts paradoxically pull away from culture and create culture.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
...if your friend knows you at all, she is being rude by pressuring you to do something that is bad for you. Yes, bad for you. Engaging in a painful activity that leaves you feeling crummy about yourself is self-destructive. But your friend is probably not a jerk—you wouldn’t have chosen her for a friend if she were. She’s just following the social rules. And you may be following them too.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy. The good news is we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves. Even our willingness to look at ourselves critically is often helpful.
But, we can go too far. We can hoard responsibility and overlook the role others play. We can kick ourselves when we’re down. How many times have you felt lousy about something, only to get mad at yourself for feeling lousy?
Stichwörter: introversion
I prefer to interact with people one-on-one. Any more than that, and the dynamic becomes competitive.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
This is why it is sometimes hard for introverts to find words: we really hate to compromise, and words are always a compromise.
Laurie A. HelgoeStichwörter: introversion
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