All right, then, I'll go to hell.
Mark TwainStichwörter: hell resignation
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
Mark TwainStichwörter: friendship enemy
I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre, I said the next surest thing for an Indian was soap and education. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run; because a half-massacred Indian may recover, but if you educate him and wash him, it is bound to finish him some time or other.
Mark TwainStichwörter: education
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
Mark TwainIt's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
Mark TwainI am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark TwainI do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
Mark TwainStichwörter: humor-lies
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
Mark TwainStichwörter: humor-taxes
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
Mark TwainStichwörter: inspirational man animals dogs religion heaven
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.
Mark TwainStichwörter: on-writing
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