One person's crazy is another person's sane, I guess.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: crazy-sane-weird-normal



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Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, "Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?

Maureen Johnson


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Tired, but not the kind of tired that sleep fixes.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: tiredness



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I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: humor death humour funny twilight lambs slaughter



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Rory: "People are being serious."

Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious."

Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?"

Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that."

Rory: "But still, what are the chances?"

Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one."

Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--"

Jazza: "You really need another hobby.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: humor serial-killer odds rory jazza jerome



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Boo: "Go talk to her."

Callum: "About what?"

Boo: "Anything."

Callum: "You want me to walk up to her and say, 'Are you a ghost?'"

Boo: "I do that."

Callum: "I love it when you get it wrong.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: humor ghosts boo callum



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It rang and it rand and it rang. I looked at the screen one last time, then at Stuart, and then I reached my arm back and threw the phone as hard as I could (sadly, not that far), and it vanished into the snow. The eight-year-olds, who were truly fascinated with our every move at this point, chased after it.
'Lost it,' I said. 'Whoops.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: stuart jubilee



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I don't mind bigots. You're allowed to be bigoted, if that makes you happy. Just do it at home. And not around the children.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: prejudice twitter



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Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland?” Keith asked... “you all think you’re Irish. What’s the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun...

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: humor keith



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Irony is the word I forget the meaning of immediately after I look it up, but I kind of feel like I live in a constant state of it.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: irony



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