When I could talk, I said, "I don't know what I did wrong."
Dena sighed, "You care too much.
He didn't remember because he'd seen thousands of little fish hundreds of times, and because it didn't mean to him what it had to me.
Melissa BankBut then you hear that he can't hear you, you see that he can't see you. You are not here - and you haven't died yet. You see yourself through his eyes, as The Generic Woman, the skirted symbol on the ladies' room door.
When he says, "I love you, honey," you realize that he never call you by your name.
You will say good-bye for all the right reasons. You're tired of living in wait for his apocalypse. You have your own fight on your hands, and though it's no bigger or noble than his, it will require all your energy.
It's you who has to hold on to earth. You have to tighten your grip - which means letting go of him.
Something changed then. I saw my life in scale: it was just my life. It was not momentous, and only now did I recognize that it had once seemed so to me; that was while my father was watching.
I saw myself the way I'd seen the cleaning women in the building across the street. I was just one person in one window.
Nobody was watching, except me.
I realized I was waiting for his permission to leave
Melissa Bank..Well, old dear, I guess love is the real suspension of disbelief.
Melissa BankDoes he make you happy?"
"Sure", I said.
He told me I didn't know what real happiness was. "You have to shrink yourself to fit into this little life with him.
You are making it harder than it has to be," she says.
I say, "And should I forgive him because it would be easier?"
"You don't nee a reason to forgive," she says. "If you want to go on with someone, that is what you do.
It doesn't work like that," she said, and I was hoping she would tell me how it did work.
Maybe she could see that, because she went on. "Sometimes you're loved because of your weaknesses," she said. "What you can't do is sometimes more compelling than what you can.
I tried to go back and talk about what I did know. I told her about one girl he'd brought home from Cornell; I'd asked if she was his girlfriend, and he's said, "When you define something, you limit it.
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