I don't know where this pressure came from. I can't blame my parents because it has always felt internal. Like any other parent, my mother celebrated the A grades and the less-than-A grades she felt there was no need to tell anybody about. But not acknowledging the effort that ended in a less than perfect result impacted me as a child. If I didn't win, then we wouldn't tell anyone that I had even competed to save us the embarrassment of acknowledging that someone else was better. Keeping the secret made me think that losing was something to be ashamed of, and that unless I was sure I was going to be the champion there was no point in trying. And there was certainly no point to just having fun.
Portia de RossiStichwörter: success effort perfection competition pressure portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
Average. It was the worst, most disgusting word in the English language. Nothing meaningful or worthwhile ever came from that word.
Portia de RossiStichwörter: average portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
I wondered if that's what aging felt like. That desire and reality were dueling until the day you die, that nobody every got to a place of peace. I had always wanted to get old so I didn't have to care anymore, but I began to think that it would be best just to skip the getting older part and just die.
Portia de RossiStichwörter: age reality old portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
You don't have to be emaciated or vomiting to be suffering. All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering.
Portia de RossiStichwörter: diet suffer portia-de-rossi unbearable-lightness
And I somehow always felt less lonely when I was completely alone.
Portia de Rossiin other words, accept yourself. love your body the way it is and feel grateful towards it. most importantly, in order to find real happiness, you must learn to love yourself for the totality of who you are and not just what you look like
Portia de RossiI finally understood that by being on a perpetual diet, I had practiced a "disordered" form of eating my whole life. I restricted when I was hungry and in need of nutrition and binged when I was so grotesquely full I couldn't be comfortable in any position by lying down. Diets that tell people what to eat or when to eat are the practices inbetween. And dieting, I discovered, was another form of disordered eating, just as anorexia and bulimia similarly disrupt the natural order of eating.
Portia de RossiI began to see myself as someone who can help others understand diversity rather than feeling like a social outcast. Ellen taught me to not care about other people's opinions. She taught me to be truthful. She taught me to be free. I began to live my life in love and complete acceptance. For the first time I had truly accepted myself.
Portia de RossiMost important, in order to find real happiness, you must learn to love yourself for the totality of who you are and not just what you look like.
Portia de RossiPlaying roles in any relationship is false and will inevitably lead to the relationship's collapse. Noone can be any one thing all the time.
Portia de RossiStichwörter: relationships gender-roles
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